At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
