I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
