He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
