What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
