dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
