My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
