I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
