He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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