Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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