Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
