You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
