party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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