By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
