I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
