But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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