I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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