We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
