i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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