Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
