it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
