All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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