It's Friday. Sex?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
