That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize