I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think a kid would responsible me up
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
