careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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