Someone shit on the floor
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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