What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
