I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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