You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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