Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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