A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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