Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
