you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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