I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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