I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
