a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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