The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
