Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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