hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
