I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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