So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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