You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
