WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He has the fingertips of a God
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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