The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
