Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
