so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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