i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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