Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
