U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
