I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
