it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
