don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
