guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
