there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
