Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
