You're completely useless in the revolution.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize