I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so let's talk penis.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
