sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
