we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
