So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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