oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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