The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
