My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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