She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize