how can u be prego again
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
