Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
