I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
