dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
